I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Dr. Susan Kitchens, a Licensed Psychologist with nearly thirty years of experience providing compassionate, therapeutic care. Hailing from Fort Collins, Colorado, Dr. Kitchens is no ordinary therapist—she can personally relate to many mental health warriors as she has faced many peaks and valleys herself.
Her one escape from the day-to-day hurdles? Running. Lacing up her first pair of running shoes as a child and becoming an avid cross-country runner in middle/high school provided a solid foundation for the therapeutic relief she would soon need in adulthood.
Running to Cope
While carrying her first child, Susan experienced her first notable bout of depression—mainly the result of a difficult pregnancy, premature delivery, and significant postpartum stress. As soon as she was cleared for physical activity, she purchased a new pair of running shoes and returned to the trails, which she hoped would bring her peace as it had before.
“This was truly a desperate move which helped significantly. I have always been an off-and-on runner, but I have run more than I have not,” said Susan. While Susan was able to overcome the depression from her first pregnancy, she once again fought her battle following the preterm births of two additional sons. Despite the new challenges of being a mother to three young boys and fighting her inner struggles, still she ran.
Depression can stem from genetics, life experiences, or sometimes it can just feel out of the blue. And even if it seems completely unexpected, a trauma experienced earlier in one’s life can rear its ugly head much later. Unfortunately, that is the case in this story as Susan was the victim of childhood abuse.
More recently, Susan began to experience the life stage of menopause. While very much a natural part of a woman’s life cycle, some women experience more symptoms than others as the estrogen and progesterone levels steadily decrease. For Susan, hormone replacement therapy caused more harm than good.
“For most women who have depression during menopause, hormone replacement will help them feel less depressed. For me, it did the exact opposite. No one put the correlation together until I figured it out this past January. The last year and a half have been hell in terms of depression in addition to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) symptoms caused by the abuse experienced earlier in my life,” said Susan.
During this time, Susan has struggled significantly to maintain a running schedule. “I know for a fact that running is the thing that helps manage my mental health. I have tried a lot of other aerobic-based activities, and nothing helps like running does. For myself, I need to run at least 3 days a week to maintain a good headspace.”
Running to Live
When Susan learned of Still I Run’s Starting Line Scholarship Program, she was first attracted to the accountability factor. The SLS strives to remove the barriers blocking one from running for their mental health. Still I Run provides shoes and running gear to get the participant to the starting line, as well as coaching and training plans to get them to the finish line.
Purchasing shoes and gear were not Susan’s main barrier. She struggled to embrace and maintain the healthy running schedule she knew she needed to overcome her current state of being. “When I received notification that I had been selected as a recipient of the scholarship, I was extremely surprised. I initially didn’t feel that I was the typical recipient as I had a long history of running to include half and full marathons. Excitement is the best expression to describe my reaction. The Starting Line Scholarship is a great program. I was honored to have the opportunity to train with a coach and have a goal that would culminate in a race,” said Susan.
Partnered with Coach Tom McCoy, Susan was ready to push herself to reach her one goal—consistency. “Working with a coach, I went for a run each of the days listed even if it wasn’t for the suggested distance. The consistency felt great! Coach Tom had me running 4 days a week at some points in the training—something I have never done. Surprisingly, it felt manageable. I always thought my legs would need a rest between runs, but I was ok with a little break in between.”
While each coach trains slightly differently, they provide time goals personalized for each participant and experience level—never suggesting times that are unrealistic or unachievable. “The run paces he set initially became entirely too slow after just four weeks. When Coach Tom decided to decrease my times, the first time I saw the number, I emailed him to ensure it wasn’t a mistake. Even though I had never achieved the suggested times before, within two weeks, I realized I was running a full minute and a half faster than where I had started.”
When asked to recall her most memorable run, Susan shared it was the first day she completed the entire run at the suggested faster pace provided by her coach. The feeling of accomplishment and pride were emotions she had not experienced in quite some time.
“I was sincerely impressed that my body and lungs could handle a challenging running regiment at the age of 53. It truly reset my expectations as a woman going through menopause,” said Susan. Though she has completed her program, Susan still finds herself sticking to a steady running schedule. “When on the trails, every time I see a woman running who is older than me, I make a mental note ‘She is out here doing this’. I fully believe we inspire each other to keep going no matter what our age or what we are facing in life.”
Her entire life, Susan has felt that her emotions were too big and often overwhelming. Over the years she has received comments from her peers stating, ‘You are too much’ or ‘You’re too sensitive’ to name a few.
“One of the things that I believe running helps me with is being accepting of my feelings no matter how big they seem. When I go for a run, I can clear my head and process my thoughts more easily. When the run is complete, I feel at peace with my emotions and gain a full perspective of my internal feelings.”
Susan’s Running Advice
As a psychologist and a mental health warrior, Susan admits she sometimes struggles to apply her knowledge and experience in her own life. However, she does her best to heed the advice given to her patients.
“The important thing to remember is that everyone starts with baby steps. It’s one thing to say you want to do something and significantly harder to actually do it. That’s the crux of the matter. Rubber has to meet the road to achieve your goal. Overcoming mental health struggles is an evolution and an ongoing process, not a simple fix.”
Over the years, Susan has found the following tips helpful when staying active as a way to improve her mental health:
Find a running/walking buddy.
Remember, it's not about how far or fast you run, it's about what you get from the run including the impact on mental and physical health and a sense of community.
Ask for help when you need it. It’s ok to ask someone to walk with you rather than to run.
Find the right running/walking group.
Seek support through resources such as the Starting Line Scholarship.
Running to Thrive
Susan is forever grateful for Still I Run, the Starting Line Scholarship, and Coach Tom. Moving forward, Susan plans to find and train for a half marathon this fall as she has not completed one in many years. Her goal is to simply stay on track.
“The concept of having a training schedule and someone I reported back to as an accountability partner was incredible. I am looking forward to finding someone to share that role in the near future.”
As we have learned from Susan, every mental health battle is different. Remaining resilient, advocating for your individual mental health needs, accountability and the therapeutic power of running are keys to overcoming life’s peaks and valleys. Remember, you are not alone.
