From Dreading Every Run to Finding Something Worth Noticing

Not too long ago, if you asked Ethan West what he noticed during a run, the answer probably wouldn't have been the sunset.

He was much more likely to notice how hard he was breathing. How tired he felt. How much easier running seemed to be for everyone else. His thoughts tended to turn inward, and not in a particularly kind way.

Running had been part of Ethan's life for a few years, starting when his wife took up the sport and he decided to join her for a 5K. They completed their first one together a few Christmases ago, but Ethan never reached the point where running felt enjoyable.

“Every time I ran, it was always a struggle,” he said.

The physical challenge was only part of it. Ethan would compare himself to other runners, think about how out of shape he felt, and berate himself along the way. By the end, he wasn't just physically exhausted. He felt mentally burnt out, too.

Even after he started CrossFit in 2023 and exercise became a bigger part of his routine, running could still bring him right back to that headspace.

Then, this spring, Ethan signed up for Still I Run's Runstreak for Mental Health. That decision eventually led him to the self-guided Mental Health Runner Program.

He's only about three weeks in, but something unexpected has happened.

“Since then, running has become more fun for me.”

What If the Run Doesn't Have to Feel Miserable?

Ethan originally found Still I Run because he likes having something on his calendar. From spring through fall, he tries to participate in a different event or fitness challenge each month, and Runstreak became one of his choices this year.

That introduction to Still I Run eventually led him to the Mental Health Runner Program, where he's currently following the beginner 5K training plan.

The program approaches running differently than Ethan had in the past. Instead of treating pace, distance, or performance as the point, it encourages participants to explore how movement can support their mental well-being. That idea is also part of Still I Run's larger approach to movement: running should be a tool for feeling better, not a measure of someone's performance or worth.

For Ethan, that shift became especially clear during a recent run.

Normally, he might have spent much of the run focused on his breathing or thinking about how difficult it felt. This time, he caught himself looking at the sunset. He was paying attention to what was around him, enjoying the view and appreciating the fact that he was outside moving.

It sounds like a simple thing. But when running has traditionally been a place where your brain lists all the ways you aren't doing well enough, noticing a sunset instead is a pretty big deal.

The program had started giving Ethan another way to experience a run.

“Forward Is a Pace”

Of everything Ethan has encountered in the program so far, one phrase in the workbook has stayed with him more than anything else: Forward is a Pace.

“The thing that really hit me so far from the workbook is the phrase ‘Forward is a Pace,’” Ethan said. “As long as I'm moving, that's a positive thing for me.”

That message directly challenges the comparison that used to make running so difficult for him. The person running faster doesn't determine whether his run counts. Neither does the number on his watch or how tired he feels. Moving forward can be enough.

It's also a message that's intentionally woven into Still I Run's approach to mental health and movement. Progress doesn't always look like going farther or getting faster. Starting counts. Restarting counts. Slowing down counts. Continuing counts.

Ethan has started carrying that idea into places that have nothing to do with running. At work and in everyday life, “Forward is a Pace” has become a reminder that he doesn't have to solve everything at once. Sometimes the goal is simply to make the next bit of progress.

Exercise Was Always About His Body. Now He's Thinking About His Mind.

Ethan was already someone who exercised regularly before starting the Mental Health Runner Program. He's been doing CrossFit since 2023, and one of his goals with running and CrossFit is to lose weight. Over the past few weeks, he's seen progress toward that goal.

But the way he thinks about why he exercises is changing.

For years, Ethan primarily saw exercise as something he did for his physical health. It could help him lose weight, become stronger or improve his fitness. He knew that he often felt better after CrossFit, but he hadn't spent much time thinking about exercise as something he could intentionally use to support his mental health.

He describes his mental health as “hit and miss.” Some days, even getting himself to a workout is a struggle. Once he's there and finishes, though, he usually feels much better and notices that a lot of his stress has eased.

The Mental Health Runner Program has helped him start connecting those experiences.

“This is good for me whether I feel it in the moment or not,” he said.

That's becoming an important part of his mindset because Ethan isn't pretending every workout is going to feel amazing. Some runs are still hard. Some aren't fun. There are days when getting started takes a lot more effort than others.

The difference is that a hard day doesn't have to mean the whole thing is a failure.

That connection between movement and mental health is exactly what the Mental Health Runner Program is built around. Preliminary findings from Still I Run's Spring 2026 in-person cohort found improvements in participants' perceived mental health, physical health, and confidence to run or exercise among those who completed both pre- and post-program assessments.

Ethan is only a few weeks into his own experience, but he already feels like his mental health has improved. More importantly, he's becoming more aware of the role movement can play in caring for it.

One Less Decision to Make

There's another part of the program Ethan appreciates that has nothing to do with a motivational phrase or a major mindset shift.

He likes being told what to do.

“I like the structure,” Ethan said. “I really like how all the runs are laid out and I don't have to think about what I'm going to do this week.”

It's one of the reasons CrossFit has worked so well for him. He can show up and follow a workout that has already been thoughtfully planned instead of trying to build one himself. The Mental Health Runner Program gives him that same feeling.

Ethan is following the beginner 5K plan, which gradually increases the amount of time and distance he's running. Instead of waking up and trying to decide how far he should go or what kind of workout he should do, he has a plan waiting for him.

“It helps me out to not have to think about what I'm going to do every single day,” he said. “I do much better when I have a plan in place.”

That structure is helping him see his progress, too. As his running builds through the 5K plan, he's noticed that he's getting better at the running portions of his CrossFit workouts.

For someone who used to associate running with feeling out of shape, noticing himself improve is a welcome change.

Five More Reasons to Keep Showing Up

Ethan has his own reasons for wanting to become healthier, but he also has five pretty important people watching what he does.

He and his wife have five kids.

Part of Ethan's motivation is to model what taking care of yourself can look like. He wants his kids to see him choosing movement and working toward better health, but he also wants them to see something bigger than that. He wants them to see him willingly do something that's difficult.

“I want my kids to be able to look at me and say, ‘Hey, I can go do this really hard thing that's worth doing.’”

That's a different lesson than showing them that hard things eventually become easy. Running may never feel easy every time Ethan heads out the door. There will probably still be runs when his legs are tired, his breathing feels harder than he'd like, or his brain starts wandering back toward comparison.

His kids get to see what happens next.

He keeps going.

Leaving Room for Something Other Than Failure

Three weeks isn't a very long time. Ethan knows he's still at the beginning of the Mental Health Runner Program, and he isn't trying to wrap his experience up in a perfect before-and-after story.

In fact, his advice to someone else considering the program is to go into it without demanding a particular outcome.

“Just go with the flow, see what happens,” he said. “Take it one step at a time and see where it leads you.”

That's essentially what Ethan did. He didn't begin the program expecting it to dramatically change his relationship with running. He kept an open mind, followed the plan and gave it a chance. He's been surprised by how well it's going and by how good he's been feeling.

He also knows there will be days when it isn't great. Running isn't always going to be fun, and a new mindset doesn't mean negative thoughts disappear forever. His approach now is to leave room for the good days alongside the difficult ones.

Maybe that's one of the biggest changes of all.

When running felt hard before, Ethan's mind quickly went to everything that was wrong: someone else was faster, he was too out of shape, or he wasn't doing well enough. Now he's learning to leave room for other possibilities.

Maybe today's run will still be hard, but he'll finish feeling less stressed. Maybe he'll run a little farther than he could a few weeks ago. Maybe he'll show his kids that something can be difficult and still worth doing.

Or maybe he'll look up and notice the sunset.

He doesn't know exactly where all of this will lead yet. He's only three weeks in.

For now, he's moving forward.

And he's learning that forward is a pace.