Finding Herself Again Through Running and Healing

For Nicole Moore, movement has always been part of who she is. Growing up as an athlete and eventually playing collegiate soccer, sports gave her structure, purpose, and an outlet. When her soccer career ended, running naturally became the thing that filled the gap.

At first, it was simply a way to stay active outside of soccer season. She ran her first half marathon during her freshman year of college and kept running throughout school. But somewhere along the way, it became more than exercise.

“Running became a coping mechanism for my mental health,” Nicole shared.

Now, as she prepares to run the New York City Marathon with Team Still I Run, Nicole is approaching this season of running from a completely different place than she once did. This race is no longer about proving something, surviving something, or carrying someone else’s expectations. For the first time, it feels like something she is truly doing for herself.

The Weight She Carried for Years

Nicole’s mental health journey began when she was very young. She experienced abuse at home from a sibling while also witnessing severe domestic violence between her parents that eventually led to a traumatic divorce. At just 12 years old, she didn’t have the support or emotional tools to process what was happening around her.

Instead, she buried it.

What looked like perfectionism and overachievement from the outside was actually survival.

She threw herself into school, sports, and accomplishments because they gave her something stable to hold onto when life at home felt anything but stable. She learned how to push forward, perform, and succeed, even while carrying unresolved trauma underneath the surface.

That survival mode followed her into college. As a nursing major, the pressure only intensified. Eventually, she switched to education because it felt manageable compared to the stress she was already carrying emotionally.

Around the age of 18, Nicole started therapy for the first time. She still sees the same therapist today, something she considers incredibly meaningful in her healing journey.

Looking back now, she realizes how much of her life was spent simply trying to make it through each day.

“I really thought I had everything figured out after college,” she said. “But I can look back now and recognize so many survival mechanisms I was using.”

When Everything Came to the Surface

Nicole’s mental health journey came full circle after the birth of her son.

Because of her history, she knew she might be at a higher risk for a prenatal or postpartum mental health condition. What she didn’t expect was how deeply postpartum mental illness would impact her life.

She experienced a severe postpartum mental health crisis that led to multiple hospitalizations, partial hospitalization programs, significant time away from work, and a rapid cycle of medication changes over the course of just a few months.

Becoming a mother forced her to confront trauma she had spent years suppressing.

Having her own child triggered memories, emotions, and wounds she had never fully processed from childhood. The experience pushed her to what she describes as the lowest point of her life.

“It took me falling to the lowest depths possible to realize that I really wasn’t even present in much of my life,” she said.

Returning to Running One Step at a Time

When Nicole was finally physically and emotionally able to move again, she slowly returned to running.

It didn’t begin with speedwork or race goals. It started with walk-runs and rebuilding stamina little by little. During a season when her mind felt chaotic and out of control, movement gave her something grounding to come back to.

Running became a way to reconnect with herself.

Throughout her healing process, movement helped occupy her mind, regulate her emotions, and remind her that progress didn’t have to happen all at once.

Today, Nicole is a strong advocate for therapy, medication, and honest conversations around mental health. She openly shares how healing required her to stop avoiding her past and begin understanding herself more fully.

“The more I talk about my story, the more I realize other people have gone through similar things too,” she said. “It’s okay to ask for help.”

Why Team Still I Run Felt Like the Right Fit

Earlier this year, Nicole ran the Boston Marathon. Instead of feeling joyful, Boston felt heavy. She knew she didn’t want that experience to define marathon running for her forever.

For her next marathon, Nicole wanted something different. She wanted to run for a cause that personally reflected her own story and experiences. When she discovered Team Still I Run, the connection felt immediate.

“I have a ‘Forward is a Pace’ tattoo with a semicolon,” she said. “Once I saw the semicolon in the Still I Run logo, I just knew it was meant to be.”

This time, marathon training feels lighter. More freeing. More personal.

“This run is for me,” she said.

Showing Up Honestly

As Nicole prepares for the New York City Marathon, she hopes her story reminds others that healing doesn’t happen in isolation.

For years, she kept her struggles to herself because mental health can feel difficult to talk about openly, especially when intrusive thoughts or emotional pain don’t look visible from the outside. But sharing her experiences has helped her realize how many people quietly carry similar stories.

Running didn’t fix everything for Nicole. Therapy didn’t erase the past. Healing hasn’t been linear.

But step by step, conversation by conversation, and mile by mile, she’s learning what it means to truly live instead of simply survive.

And this fall in New York City, every stride will reflect just how far she’s come.